What a Difference Three Months Make

2,191 little hours. I'm reading back over my posts and sort of shaking my head at how far we've come. Or maybe not far, but where we are compared to then. Emily drinks from a bottle. In fact, she only drinks from a bottle because she is no longer breastfed, except occasionally at night. I had a huge work project which required me to be in the office from 8-8 every day for 3 weeks (SUCK!). I managed to pump the whole time and Emily was in the Netherlands with her grandparents, but as soon as she returned, I shunned the pump. Just thinking about the pump made me get jittery. I didn't even want to look at it, I was so DONE with pumping. I said I would breastfeed only in the evenings which has been ok for at least not drying up, but I have nowhere near what Emily needs. And once you decide you will no longer breastfeed every time your baby needs to eat, it's pretty much a slippery slope to no longer breastfeeding. And I'm ok with it. I wanted so much to breastfeed and to do it right, and I did. Despite a lot of difficult circumstances, I exclusively breastfed Emily for 5.5 months. Now we're all busy with other things and life has gotten a little more hectic - it is time for me to let it go, and so I have. It's been good for all of us.

Only one complaint - the SLEEP. I have no idea whether this is related to the breastfeeding, or the jetlag, but girl has the worst sleep ever now. I am totally pooped. I don't even want to put her back on the Contented Baby Schedule because I am TOO TIRED TO FUNCTION. Putting a baby on a schedule requires work. I'm just crossing my fingers this will also pass once she cuts her teeth. Maybe not...

Four Months

So krippe is going as bad as I expected. I have to run to the daycare at noon to feed Emily. What kind of daycare requires the parents to come in and take care of the kid? This is like a restaurant where you have to cook your own food - ridiculous. If I had the spare time to just blow off work I wouldn't need daycare.

On the bright side, Emily is 4 months old, which means I can start solids if I want. I'm not sure we're going to start because she doesn't seem ready. She's always fussing and gassy, which makes me wonder if her digestive system is mature enough to handle solids. Also, she isn't interested in eating as evidenced by her aversion to anything but a breast in her mouth. The only advantage would be that at least the daycare people can feed her if she starts solids. I'll give her a spoon of rice cereal today and see how that goes. If she hates it, I'll wait one more month.

Despite his sleep problems, I really miss taking care of Baby Julian, who would eat just about anything in sight.

Emily Photos

She is my pride and joy.

Breast is Really Best

You know, I wanted breastfeeding to go well so badly that I think I may have doomed myself. I never thought this would be a problem since Julian took to the bottle so well and so easily, but Emily will not eat from a bottle. No way, no how. The minute we try it, she stiffens her body, flails her arms, gags, coughs, screams, and turns her head. It's like we're torturing her, only you can tell she's hungry because she starts rooting and sucking on her fist. She absolutely hates bottles and believe me, we have tried every bottle under the sun. I thought at first it was a matter of finding the right nipple or the right flow but now, after using every bottle between Europe and the US, we are pretty sure she's just a little too smart and willful for her own good. This is what we have tried:

• First Years Soothie bottle (she won't take the Soothie pacifier either. Oh why did I order that starter set that came with 8 bottles?)
• Playtex Drop-Ins Latex AND Silicone Nipples (good thing I ordered 16 bottles of these, eh?)
  
• Playtex Orthodontic Nipple
• Nuk Orthodontic Nipple
• Bibi Orthodontic Nipple
• Tommee Tippee
  
• Avent
• Medela
• Playtex Vent-Aire
• Dr. Brown's
• Nuby (the nipple with the weird little bumps? Dunno why I thought that would work)
  

This kid is NO JOKE. I can't believe the amount of money and time we have spent on bottles. There doesn't seem to be a bottle brand left to try! And it pains me so much because after hours of screaming, if I just breastfeed her? Her eyes roll back and she acts like she is eating a Boston Cream pie after dieting for 8 months or something. It is really strange. I am also very nervous as I have to go back to work and she has to go to daycare. Ahahaha...sorry krippe people. I'm so so sorry...

This Morning

I took my lukewarm cup of coffee and my daughter in the Baby Bjorn and stood on my back porch. I drank my coffee and listened to the sound of the rain falling and birds chirping. It was a good morning...